Category: theology

I cannot run (my) life

~ dwc ~ Leave a comment

I have concluded that I have more thoughts going around my head than I can properly manage.

And I am learning to be more and more OK with this, since I believe that I was never meant to be the sole Manager of reality as I imagine and perceive and think about it.

Let me elaborate.

I will not bother trying to explore the differences between animal sentience and human consciousness. In brief, I am happy with the concept of the sudden emergence of human consciousness into the world. I’d liken it to the process of starting a fire by rubbing a stick – think of Chuck Noland in Castaway. The fire doesn’t emerge out of thin air, but in the specific context of wood rubbing against wood, friction, heat, flammable materials placed in perfect proximity. Behold – fire!

Humans do this thing called ‘metacognition’ – thinking about thinking.

It is just too much for us to bear.

My tiny, tired mind is filled with thoughts about justice, ethics, politics, philosophy, scripture, religion, the psychology of the guy next to me at the cafe rudely watching videos with the sound loud and proud distracting everyone, renewable energy, slave labour that is also child labour in the cobalt mines of Congo, all of my arrogance and hubris, just how did Palpatine ‘somehow’ return in The Rise of Skywalker, why Star Wars fans can be so fickle, the possibility which is probably more of a certainty that I am over-reacting to what that person said the other day, my deep sadness at the state of my workshop, and the best way to solve the problem of…

You know what I’m talking about.

I am convinced that I am not equipped with the resources to sort out reality. It’s just not my job. Things don’t happen as I imagine that they should – and that’s only talking about my own life, let alone the mysterious fantasy that we call politics and government.

Oh sure, I’m not suggesting that I’m only good for doing one small thing, like woodworking (although what a sweet heaven on earth that would be indeed!). We are, I believe, made to roll up our sleeves and get involved in the world – yes even politics for souls better and braver than I.

But there is a fundamental difference in posture toward life, which I am seeing a bit more clearly.

On the one hand, I can try to have a God-like awareness and judgement over all things, and then get really sad, depressed, blah, or worst of all really angry and enthusiastic about it all not going how I know it should… (And God knows we do this…)

Or on the other hand, I can trust that God understands it all in a way that is at least a half-step ahead of my own reckoning – or more truthfully as far above my own understanding as can be imagined. And from this posture of trust – I can partner with God to do the small or medium or even large things that I am called to do.

In short, I cannot manage all the ideas I am so unfortunately capable of getting myself tied up in knots about.

Thank God that I can hand it all over to the One who can.

mixed fruit

~ dwc ~ Leave a comment

I continue my morning readings, currently in 1 Samuel.

This morning was chapter 19, where Saul tries (again) to pin David to the wall with (seemingly) his favourite thing to have in his hand – a spear. (see this post for more on that theme)

Then he gets swept up in some pretty intense prophetic activity while trying to hunt down David. So intense that he disrobes and lies all night naked.

This is what you might call conflicting accounts. Saul is a mixed bag of a human being (like all of us – even David), and he is bearing mixed fruit.

He gets so wrapped up in this prophetic activity that he appears emotionally overwhelmed and out of himself. Rumours are started about him: “Is Saul also among the prophets?”

But then again, he seems waaaaaaaaaaay too comfortable with a spear in his hand. “Hey Saul, you are looking pretty stressed and distressed… and you and David haven’t been getting on well for a bit… so maybe don’t invite him to play music for you? Oh wait… OK there he is… fine… Well, maybe at the very least, just don’t pick up that spea…. Oh heck, you just tried to kill David… again!?”

Saul’s narrative arc is trending down big-time. And the intense prophetic experience does not undo that.

This should give us pause, too. Having intense spiritual experiences does not prove that we are spiritually healthy.

no sword…

~ dwc ~ 1 Comment

I’m reading 1 Samuel in my morning devotions.
Today was David and Goliath (chapter 17).
When I read the following words,
I was stopped in my tracks…

…no sword in the hand of David.

1 Samuel 17:50

Why did such a basic statement stop me in my tracks?
Because only a few days earlier I read another passage mentioning weapons in (or not in) hands…

22 So it came about, on the day of battle, that there was neither sword nor spear found in the hand of any of the people who were with Saul and Jonathan. But they were found with Saul and Jonathan his son.

1 Samuel 13:22

The Israelites had tools for agriculture, not weapons for war. Except for Saul (and Jonathan). Just before before 13:22 we read that the Philistines didn’t want the Israelites to have a blacksmith, or else they would “make swords or spears“… So they had to go to their enemies to get their plowshares, mattocks, axes, sickles, forks and goads sharpened.

I get the sense that God didn’t want them to have swords or spears either…

The comparison between sword-wielding Saul and sheep-herding David is deliberate.
The guy wielding a sword (Saul) was going to be rejected…
in favor of the guy who cared for sheep (David)…

This military contrast also plays out in the David and Goliath story.
Just in the gear they wear…

Goliath had lots of large and heavy armour.
Think of The Rock – Dwayne Johnson.

Meanwhile, David couldn’t even walk with all the armour on.
It was just so unnatural for him.
Picture Kip Dynamite.

Later on, in chapter 18, we hear about military weapons again. This time, it’s the strange moment where David is soothing Saul’s troubled mind with his musical therapy.

What is in Saul’s hand? A spear.
(This guy Saul… he loves carrying weapons.)
So he hurls it at this upstart usurper David…
Yikes.

The author of 1 Samuel seems to want us to see something about weapons and trusting God.

I reckon David’s declaration to Goliath is kind of a summary that underlines God’s nature:
God does not side with the strong and the well-armed…
Rather, God is for the underdog, the weak, the humble, the ones who will carry out his will and plan.
Or you could say God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

This day the Lord will deliver you into my hand, and I will strike you and take your head from you. And this day I will give the carcasses of the camp of the Philistines to the birds of the air and the wild beasts of the earth, that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel. 47 Then all this assembly shall know that the Lord does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s, and He will give you into our hands.”

1 Samuel 17:46-47

Whatever we make of the rest of this book (not least 1 Samuel 15!), there is a clear theme here. God is featured here as the One on the side of the smaller, the weaker, the one without military style weapons. God is not about siding with the powerful, but rather the weak.

the backspace button

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I love hammering that backspace button. I use it. I abuse it. If something comes out in a way I don’t like it, I smash that key and redo it.

As a kid, we had an old mechanical typewriter. Ribbons. Ink. That sound. Shunk, shunk, shunk. Shunk shunk. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. (That’s the sound of making the carriage ‘return’ to beginning of the line) Shunk. Shunk shunk.

I feel like as a modern society we’ve gotten used to being able to (seemingly) easily undo things. I found it frustrating recently when trying to do a long series of ‘undo-ing’ on a PowerPoint presentation. Why, I asked myself, had this machine forgotten the progression of my work such that I couldn’t just go back at any time to the point I wanted to?

I wonder if we treat life like that a bit? If we don’t like something – hit the big red button. Delete. Undo. Backspace.

In some ways this is a very good thing. We don’t have to fear errors.

If you were so cursed as to make a mistake on an old typewriter, there was a litany of solutions we went through. At one point you had to hold some sheet of white stuff against the page, and type the exact same character in the exact same place. Or then there was liquid white out. Then there was correction tape. It was a lot of work.

((wait, does anyone remember word-processor machines? Like those weird in-between devices between typewriters and computers??))

It’s better now. Mistakes are gloriously undo-able. That kind of attitude has positive echoes in life for those who live accordingly. My mistakes, my errors and sins, are not the end of the world. Neither need be the misdeeds of others. It can be amended, forgiven, gotten past, put aside, or otherwise dealt with through the application of relational white out. Spiritual correction tape. The loving backspace button.

But there’s a downside. Sometimes errors are not so easily fixed. Damage is done and can’t be redone. There’s probably no need to give examples here. Sometimes an error leaves a permanent mark, an unfillable hole, an indelible stamp.

In the Christian faith, there is a striking balance when it comes to mistakes, evil, damage and sin. The harm from wrongdoing is to be put aside as quickly and routinely as possible. But there is acknowledgement that some groans will continue until the new creation.

Maybe this can give us a helpful posture of fearless caution as we navigate life. On the one hand typing our way thorough life shouldn’t feel like walking a tightrope. We can get things wrong, and get past them. And yet. We shouldn’t plonk down letters and words and strike the keyboard of live with reckless abandon. We should take care.

Happy typing to us all.

final salvation – the meaningful middle

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When it comes to the ultimate future for humans, there seem to be two extremes.

One extreme would be the most hopeless and bleak form of materialism. Not even the faintest form of vague spiritual continuation of ‘me’. Just cold meaningless death. The brutal transition into non-existence.

The other extreme would be the most indifferent and indiscriminate form of universalism. Not the least bit of justice or varied reward. Just heaven for everyone regardless of what evils or genocides they committed, or what visions of the afterlife they even wanted.

In the middle is the complex but meaningful reality of faith. We are accountable for our actions. Trusting in God matters. The posture of my heart matters. Not everyone is simply lumped into one fate. There is room and space for a real response to God’s acts of creation and redemption.